What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom? He's a real fun guy (fungi). What kind of table makes a good snack? A vegetable What kind of beans have landed on the moon? Human Beans What kind of toes do people like to eat? Tomatoes and Potatoes Which vegetable's name and first letter sound the same? Pea What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese What did the banana do when it heard the ice scream? It Split! What did the mother ghost tell the baby ghost when he ate too fast? Stop goblin your food. What do you get when you put three ducks in a box? A box of quackers. Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher told him it was a piece of cake. What's in an astronaut's favorite sandwich? Launch meat. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells. What starts with "t" ends with "t" and is filled with "t"? A teapot. What has ears but can't hear a thing? A cornfield. What's the worst thing about being an octopus? Washing your hands before dinner. Why did the man stare at the can of orange juice? Because it said 'concentrate.' Did you hear the joke about oatmeal? It's a lot of mush. What kind of crackers do firemen want in their soup? Firecrackers When do you stop at green and go at red? When you are eating a watermelon! What did the hamburger name his daughter? Patty Knock, knock - Who’s there? - Lettuce - Lettuce who? - Lettuce in and we’ll tell you! How did the bubblegum cross the road? Stuck to the bottom of the chicken’s foot Why did the cow eat chocolate bars? She wanted to make chocolate milk What has one horn and carries milk? A milk truck What do you get if thousands of strawberries try to get through the same door at the same time? Strawberry jam Why should you never tell a secret on a farm? Because the corn has ears! Where do cows go on vacation? To the mooooooooon What type of pizza does salt not like? Pepper-only pizza Why are teddy bears never hungry? Because they are stuffed! How do you change a pumpkin into a different vegetable? You throw it up in the air and it comes down squash Why is a pea small and green? Because if it were big and red, it would be a tomato!